Graphic Sexual Bullshit

26 May

I have recently been involved in some pretty interesting debates in regards to non consensual consent, after I tweeted that I don’t really understand how people get turned on by seeing girls looking absolutely terrified and crying.

Obviously, the extreme play, its not my thing. During the discussion, the big thing that kept coming up was consent, “You don’t get into this by accident.”  Where the whole non consensual consent lines were blurred for me is when I think of how many people are pushed beyond their hard limits they set prior to ‘play’ when they are in sub space? I think to push someone when they are floating, usually immobilised and extraordinarily vulnerable is wrong. yes, the bottom has chosen to submit, to play. I think it goes beyond ‘challenging’ someone to purely taking advantage when you push beyond the predetermined hard limits. Knowing that you are pushing them to go further than the person wanted to go seems really wrong to me.

I watched Graphic Sexual Horror (GSH) a few months ago, and again a few days ago. It is about a hardcore bondage website that was shut down for, in my opinion, bullshit reasons, but nonetheless shut down. The whole documentary creeped me the fuck out.

At the start the guy behind insex, PD, seems quite normal, nice almost… he basically infers it is all an act.. then you see further on that it is not an act. There is quite a lot of abuse, line crossing, taking advantage… He makes it seem so, acceptable, normal. If you get off on being pushed to your limits for your own sexual gratification then that is great for you. But a lot of these girls clearly state it was because they wanted or needed money. A lot of them were drug addicts. If you screwed and played with PD off set, you got more money. You don’t use your safeword even though you desperately want to, you get more money. You say your safeword, you don’t get to come back. You miss out on making even more money.  For a girl addicted to drugs, how appealing does that make the safeword?

In one segment, you see a girl tied and caged, and being repeatedly dunked in the water, screaming “stop, I can’t catch my breath” and they dunk her again. She uses her safeword, they dunk her again. She cannot do anything but choke and cough next time she comes back up. That is far from non consensual consent, that is plain non consent and being abused.
One woman recalls telling PD she had never had anal intercourse before and was really nervous about the idea of it, so for her scene they tie her up anally penetrate her with a huge toy. She says she felt like she was raped. Not sure how feeling like you have been raped fits in with happy happy joy joy consensual non consent… oh right, because it DOESN’T.

All I am trying to point out is that it is not all black and white, there are many factors that make a situation ok or not ok.
I’m not knocking anything you might like to have done to you, because liking having it done to you and feeling forced or pressured for whatever reason is different.
Yes, you can play in the safety of your own relationship, whatever that relationship may be, and you can probably quite happily achieve consensual non consent play. Because if your partner wants to continue playing with you, they won’t fuck you over, will they? But saying it is ok to take advantage of someone in subspace is like saying its ok to rape a drunk girl because she didn’t say no properly.

I could go on and on and on because this topic pisses me off to no end, but I’ll leave it there.

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One Response to “Graphic Sexual Bullshit”

  1. Kim June 6, 2011 at 3:53 am #

    I have to say I agree with you.
    Ugh

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